Behind the Songs of Death & Rebirth

Hearing or reading people's response to Death & Rebirth has been really invigorating; especially the way each song on this project has been interpreted by different individuals.  I get asked from time to time to explain them a little more, and I normally give pretty vague answers because I enjoy how people see them.  Recently, however, I thought it might be a cool idea to share the story of how they came to be since we're marching together!  Watching these songs come to life was quite a surprise since I didn't really set out to particularly write this kind of record, but it's an honest reflection of where I was in my head and my heart at the time.  I hope you'll find them more meaningful too as you understand their journey into being:

Fate: An Introduction” and “Death”

I was at a mall in Dallas shopping with my mom, and I saw another woman with her kids that really intrigued me.  This particular woman was clearly in her mid to late forties, but she was dressing like one of her teenage daughters.  I wondered why she might feel the need to do that.  It seemed to me that maybe she was really afraid of growing older; maybe afraid of dying.  I felt a little badly for her in a sense because maybe she felt really overwhelmed, and I also thought to myself that I don't want to be afraid of growing older―I want to do it gracefully if I can especially because there's nothing I can do about it.  It's just inevitable.  That was the major feeling I had as I watched her.  It's coming and there's nothing any of us can do about it.  In that moment, the first lines for “Death” were born, “Truth, truth be told, you might shake your fist at death, but we all grow old...”   I really wanted to recreate the overwhelming feeling that all of us probably feel from time to time that no matter what any of us believe, the “light” is coming for us all at some point.

Nothing But Love Can Stay”

I literally woke up from a dream with this song in my head.  I was still living in Mississippi at the time, and I had only been married a couple of months.  Around that time, I was thinking a lot about how much I loved my wife, about the end of the world, and about what I would do if it came.  What really mattered in the end?  I think the song I woke up with was a culmination of those thoughts.  Looking back on it now, I've realized that it's also a combination of poetry and passages in the Bible that have just stayed with me for so long.  Particularly, Robert Frost's “Nothing Gold Can Stay,” and Isaiah 54:10.  I got up that morning and went into the living room (so I wouldn't wake my wife), strummed, wrote the lyrics down, and then went back into my bedroom to wait for my wife to wake up.  I scared her when she did wake; I guess it was kind of creepy to just sit there and watch her, but I couldn't wait to play it for her.

“Arrows Fly”

One of the most devastating times in my life involved a church family I had been a part of in my high school and college years.  Without getting into a ton of detail, I will just say that my family and I were trying to do something different than what that spiritual community was comfortable with, and we were rejected in the process.  For me, the wounds were deep because I found a lot of validation in being a part of the church in some ways more than being a child of God.  When people that I loved, respected, and looked up to; people that I felt were family turned there backs on my family (and in turn it felt like they turned their backs on me), it broke my heart so much.  An ideal that I had put so much faith in failed me.  Later on, this song reflected struggles I was having with my own family when I started to strike out on my own apart from them.  That can be trying if you don't see eye to eye all the time. 

Simple”

This song was birthed out of trying to make sense of where my faith in God was at as I drifted away from organized church.  I didn't feel like the system of church that I had experienced reflected what I was reading about in the Bible, and what I felt drawn to naturally.  I was searching a lot to understand if there was a better way to relate to God.  I felt pretty beat up by some of the circumstances I had endured in letting go or reconciling what I felt was right in my heart.  There seemed to be a lot of man made “rules” that didn't seem to line up with the kind of unconditional love I was starting to believe in, so I started asking God to help me simplify our relationship.  I still have a long way to go with this for sure.

Afterlife Parade”

This is the song that began it all (obviously).

I was visiting Nashville one weekend in March 2008 to sort of scope the place out and see if the next leg of my journey was going to end up there.  While I was there I stopped by my friend Darcy's place just to visit.  She had recently gotten married to Jeremy (McCoy that is...we hadn't met yet!), and her mom had also recently passed away.  She was telling me a little bit about her mom and how hard it was for her to watch her mom battle breast cancer and eventually pass on; however, Darcy also related that her mom was so positive throughout the process.  Darcy's mom comforted her the entire time and told her not to worry because she was going to be okay in the end.  That totally confounded Darcy.  Her only solace at times was found in wearing her mom's old sweaters―they were warm and still had her mother's scent on them.  Something about all of that really intrigued me.  I started to wonder what that experience was like for her mom, and I thought about how I wish it would be for me in the end.  I also realized that there was a lot of “death” in my own life whether it was loved ones passing away, and loved ones family members passing away.  I felt inspired to write about it all from the perspective of someone who was dying who is comforting someone else about it; I guess it's really a song from the perspective of Darcy's mom, but with some embellishments and my own desires for what I think heaven might be like.  I took some definite cues from one of my favorite novels/movies:  Big Fish.  If you haven't seen the death scene at the end of the movie, you should―it's one of the most triumphant endings to a movie that I know of.

Phoenix”

This instrumental track is the oldest of the batch.  It has been around for about eight years now.  I was happy to finally bring it to light, and I thought it was the perfect symbol and segue to bridge the two sides of this project.  The phoenix is a mythlogical bird that would catch itself on fire, burn to ash, and then recreate itself again; a great symbol of rebirth.

Rebirth”

Rebirthing into something new doesn't always feel that good, and I wanted to capture that lyrically and musically.  I tried to use a lot of “war” imagery and “birth” imagery.  The start stopping aspect of this song came from my understanding of contractions in the birth canal, and then coming out swinging, well, I feel like we are born to fight sometimes; we are born proving ourselves.

Black Woods, White Beach”

I wanted to create an abstract picture of healing that loosely incorporated images from “The Most Dangerous Game” and this is what came out.  I never want to go back to the darkest places in my life after I've understood what they mean in becoming a better person.  I feel Truth is always inviting us to sail away from those places and into the light. The sun rises in the east, and I kind of see that as a symbol of new beginnings. I feel blessed and grateful to God that I've made it out of the mess of myself, so many times.

Cincinnati”

Cincinnati” is really a love letter to a city.  I think it has as much to do with the rebuilding of that city as it does with the marriage of two people or maybe the marriage of dreams and reality.  Whatever the case, it's a love song.

Chinese Hand Drum”

I'm very proud of this song, and it comes from a very deep place in my heart.  My love for foreign countries, travel, honorable people, lovers, and the divine are all interwoven in this hymn about finding transcendence and meaning in each of them.

Sequoia”

This is my personal mission statement about the nature of love and selflessness.  More than that, this my own modern vision or parable of what I think Jesus' teachings were really about.  I believe in his kingdom and that it is not built with stone and mortar or people's agendas, but founded on the unconditional love of God.  The word “kingdom” seems to conjure all kinds of ideas in people that can often be negative, but I like to think of it as the most “honorable” culture of people possible guided by the deepest divine benevolence possible.  That to me that means that life is not about what is wrong and right, but about how selfless we are in relating to others, and how we receive love, so we can ultimately give it back freely.  I certainly am not perfect in any of this, but I hope to be as the kiln of life seals my heart.

Devil's Dirt”

Dance halls, dj's, the world bar, the world dance hall, the exhiliration of letting go whether here or there...it's all one.  We wage war when we dance whether it's war within ourselves or with everything around us.  Got to get free, right?!  Ha!

Maypole”

Maypole” is a song about coming home and the blossoming of spring.  In some ways, it represents the story conclusion to “Arrows Fly.”  I feel a lot of reconciliation in it.  I'm glad that it is the bookend of the project as well.  I feel like it sums everything up nicely.

Heaven is alive, it's in our hearts.  It's in our eyes and in our scars.  We breath it in when we kiss; when we hold the sights we'd thought we'd missed.”

I'd like to finish this blog with a quote from Elizabeth Barrett Browning that ultimately encompasses what this whole project is about I think: ‎"Earth's crammed with heaven."

There's more heaven and hell in our every day lives than we know, and there's more death and rebirth happening than just people being born and people dying.  The great thing is it's all part of the story, and somehow it's all beautiful too.

--Quinn

"Maypole"

"Maypole"

The dirge is draining from our lungs

And a new song's raging on our tongues

So leave your winters at the gate

With those memories of darker days

The past was burned by the threshing floor

And we are all that love searched for

So leave your fears out on the porch

The table is set and supper is warm

No more waiting at the door

Come one, come all

Come on, sing it out, sing it out

Heaven is alive, it's in our hearts

It's in our eyes and in our scars

And we breath it in when we kiss 

When we hold the sights we thought we'd missed

Come one, come all

Come on sing it out, sing it out

"Chinese Hand Drum"

"Chinese Hand Drum"


You're the journey 

You're the dance

You're the song of a distance lands

And you call to me

Your laughter fills my heart

Like a kite in Bejing park

Waving to the earth

So I swing my arms like a Chinese hand drum

Beating the wind with love's great cadence

Singing so loud, I ain't got no breath left

And I dance so hard, I can't feel my feet

I'm a feather in the wind blowing to the east

Where the sun comes up, the sun comes out for me

You're the fire

You're the sea

You're the wisdom in my dreams

Will you sing to me?

Oh, come in waves

With soul and grace

Like a newborn summer

Then I'll swing my arms like a Chinese hand drum

Beating the wind with love's great cadence

Singing so loud, I ain't got no breath left

And I dance so hard, I can't feel my feet

I'm a feather in the wind blowing to the east

Where the sun comes up, the sun comes out for me

"Cincinnati"

"Cincinnati"

We're pioneers

With every hope and every fear

We're seven hills and seven years

Into finding one another here

The streets are lit, Over the Rhine,

We'll paint this town wedding dress white

Love and trust are revving cars

On the boulevard

We burn like the dawn 

We're vagabonds

Slowly drifting into one

To mend what came undone

To have, to hold, to love 

Rebuild our hopes and watch them grow

Towers tall, morning stars

Burning in our hearts

We'll light this town with the two of us

We burn like the dawn

Shedding skin

Shedding life

What could've been

All the while

Shedding skin

Shedding life

What could've been

Well, it was yours all the time

We burn like the dawn

**I think community revitalization is a really important part of being a human being; I think it is one of the ways we can bring heaven to earth.--Quinn

"Phoenix" and "Rebirth"

"Phoenix" is the first track of Rebirth and kind of serves as a bridge between the two projects (Death and Rebirth).  It's the only instrumental track of our concept record, and it's a combination of acoustic guitar and some very cool beats; it's the crescendo of a soul dying and living again.  Historically, the phoenix is a mythical crimson bird that lives from 500 to 1,000 years, and near the end of it's life, builds a nest, consumes itself in fire, and from the ashes is born anew to live again; a symbol of eternal life.  It is said that it's cry is one of the most beautiful songs ever heard.

Following "Phoenix" is "Rebirth"

"Rebirth"

Spin the dial

Time is on fire

Come eventide

In the kiln of life

Kerosene,

I got a bridge

You got a match for me?

Hurling soul

Jack knife into the depths of 

A renaissance

Bless this mess

With solluting guns

Never thought I'd see the day 

But the day is won

Rebirth is upon us

Rebirth us upon us

And start, stop

Start, stop

Start

And I come out swingin'

**Rebirth is never an easy process; in fact, it can often be excruciatingly painful and messy.  I imagine it to be like a kiln or even childbirth maybe. Obviously, I will never give birth to a being myself and could never understand that kind of physical pain, but I have certainly felt the "contractions" in my heart as I have died and been born again every day.  It's that starting and stopping and starting again that makes change a war inside for me.  I always feel like I come out swinging.--Quinn

"Black Woods, White Beach"

You get our live e.p. here:  http://afterlifeparade.bandcamp.com/

We've decided that periodically we're going to release the lyrics of each song on Rebirth right here as a teaser for what is to come starting with "Black Woods, White Beach" and then working back from track one on through.  We may even give you a little tidbit about the inspiration for each song.


Let it begin...

"Black Woods, White Beach"

Pain, past, quick sand

Eyes meet your hand

Never want to go back

Never want to go

Never want to

Black woods, white beach

Ship, mast, come sail east

Never want to go back

Never want to go

Never want to

Oh, Oh, Oh

Never have to go back

Never have to go 

Never have to

Oh, Oh, Oh

**Although lyrically cryptic, this song is an abstract story about healing.  I took a lot of the imagery from a favorite short story, "The Most Dangerous Game," and sort of put a different spin on it to communicate what it is like to get "stranded" in the past, to be rescued, and then to be given an invitation to a better or new future (the east).  I feel blessed more times than I can count, to have found myself in a dark place, to be set free by the truth, and then to sail away never to go back to that black wood.--Quinn

Pregnant Pause

There is a quiet in the Afterlife Parade camp right now.  It is a confident sense of anticipation about the steps we are about to take.  We are, first of all, incredibly humbled by the overwhelmingly positive response we have received from people, blogs, and radio stations about Death.  I think I feel the most encouraged by how many people get what we are trying to do and are finding comfort in this last batch of songs; it is always neat to know what different people take away from listening.  Dialogue always tends to create a deeper understanding or at least, I think so anyway.  We very much believe in these songs, and we are proud to know that you do too.

Living with Death and letting it breath while we've been in the process of recording, mixing, packaging, and eventually releasing Rebirth has felt like a valley in a sense; I suppose it should.  We are living with the ultimate question of how well it will be received.  There is almost a sort of “death” in that.  We've created expectations or desires about our sound, and we certainly want to live up to those, and yet we want to make way for something new and unexpected too.  To me, Rebirth is not as much a departure as it is a progression in sound and a set up for the future.  Also, “I” has become “We” in this album cycle because Afterlife Parade is a band and will always be and “our” sound will change as members contribute over time.  That is so exciting to think about the sound of a band evolving!

We have been practicing and practicing, we have listened and listened again, and then practiced more to make sure we communicate the sound of these two projects to the fullest.  The summer will find us releasing a single (on June 8), playing a handful of dates, releasing a couple of live videos, practicing some more, releasing Rebirth (on August 8), and planning and playing a slew of dates in the fall (hopefully).  Thank you for embracing us and these songs—we are happy to share them with all of you.  We hope you'll join us in song as we grow and march together.

Cheers,

Quinn

P.S. Can't wait to introduce you to Tony Clucas, Drummer/Percussionist Extraordinaire! 

Video Shoot

We just a finished a video shoot that we are super excited to share with all of you.  We were pleased to work with the likes of David Ogle, Jeremy Stanley, and Jonathan Frasier on production and set designer Brandon Eller.  Stay posted for more details on the release.

The Art of Jacob Blaze

Jacob Blaze is an amazing creative force, and much to our pleasure, is responsible for the artwork on Death and our upcoming project Rebirth.  I took some time recently to catch up with my good friend to ask him about his creative process and his inspiration for his striking work on our records. It was a very invigorating look into the heart of an up and coming artist.--Quinn

Here's what he had to say...

1. So Jacob, what were your earliest memories of creating art?

As far back as I can remember, I've been drawing. When I was a kid I would draw different characters I made up (I remember ninjas specifically), animals with weapons (think a dolphin with guns on its fins), cars, etc. I would doodle logos as well. I took art classes in school as I got older.

2. What or who inspired a passion for art in you?

I think that part of it is simply how I'm wired. To the best of my knowledge, I've always been pretty visual. There have been times where I've tried to shift my life away from creating and to stop making art, and it simply hasn't worked. I get a lot out of it, and it's something I've learned a lot from. On the other hand, I think some of it is a result of circumstance. Like many people, I had some painful experiences during childhood, dealing with my parents' divorce and the resulting circumstances as an example, and I think there's something to say for art and creativity being born out of pain. There are a lot of people with harder pasts than I've had, but I think that definitely plays a part in why I'm driven to create.

3. Would you mind briefly sharing your artistic history.

I definitely don't mind. Like I said earlier, I drew a lot as a kid, but high school is where I think I really latched onto art, taking five art classes in my four years there. Late high school is when I was introduced to pieces by artists who worked in New York during the 50s, and I loved them; Robert Rauschenberg, Jasper Johns, and Roy Lichtenstein were some of my first favorite artists. When I went to college, I went back and forth between the art and design majors (along with a couple others). I ended up graduating with a degree in graphic design, but because it was a smaller school, I was still able to take a lot of art classes and have a couple art shows. It was also in college that I meant an artist named Father Bill Moore, who in some ways became an artistic mentor, and I'm still in touch with him. Really great guy. Since graduating from college in 2005, I've basically been working graphic design jobs and painting on the side, showing some and continuing to develop who I am as an artist. 

4. What do you call your preferred medium?

That's a harder question than it should be. I'd say acrylics have been my preferred medium, because these are at the base of most of what I've done recently, though I usually implement wood stain, found objects, and some relief printmaking as well. I'm actually planning on trying some new materials soon, like house paint, so this could change in the next couple of months.

5. Are there any artists that you look up to who express themselves with this form?

Father Bill Moore, who I mentioned earlier, is one of these artists. I saw his work before I met him, and it just resonated with me; he uses very simple compositions and rich textures, both of which I absolutely love. His primarily uses acrylics, but he also includes found objects in his work, and does so beautifully.  I really enjoy the work of artists who are using other mediums as well; there's a lot to learn about art from artists who work completely differently than I do. I recently went to an exhibit about the birth of impressionism, and though what I do is very different from impressionism, I was mesmerized by these artists' use of color, their compositions, and the enormity of some of these paintings. There are artists using an array of mediums who I really enjoy. Another recent favorite is an artist in New York named Makoto Fujimura, who works with precious minerals.

6.  There are many artists who choose to focus on particular themes or find a particular element that consistently apply to what they do; what would you say is yours?

Something that has come up a lot in my work is grace, that the disposable and bent can be part of a larger redeeming process, that selfish and unlovable people can be loved. That hits home for me, which is why I often include found objects or "disposable" materials in my work.

7. What inspires you in general?

People who do amazingly selfless and loving things, my community, time spent in prayer, music, others' artwork, traveling, watching people I love challenge themselves and live well.

8.  Are you reading any books currently?  Do you feel like they have an impact on your work right now?

I'm actually reading a business book right now. Not my favorite genre, but there are some good things to take from some of these books. This one is called No More Mondays, and it has, on a more practical level, had me thinking about how I want my work life to look (I might add that I'm thinking more about my work life in part because it affects how much I'm able to work on my art). I'm also slowly working on a book by C.S. Lewis called An Experiment in Criticism, which is basically about how we interact with art, and Chaim Potok's The Gift of Asher Lev.  I don't often see a book having a direct influence on my work, but if I've read something that really affects me, and I'm creating honestly, I think it will come out in what I'm making.

9. What sort of environment do you work in, and do you try to create a mood via lights or furniture etc.? Do you feel that this has an impact on your artwork?

I prefer to work in strong lighting so I can see how things will look at their best. In terms of creating a mood, I've been putting on music while I work, but I'm planning on working in silence for the next while. Part of this is because I plan on treating painting as a time of prayer, but also because I heard someone say recently that, in creating, we need to be careful in manufacturing a mood. When someone sees a painting of mine, they most likely won't have music or a mood as a backdrop; they'll have a painting on a wall, and it's up to that painting to affect them. I want to be able to see how a piece affects me without any extra emotional lift while I'm working, in hopes that I can better understand what a viewer will experience.

10. Do you normally listen to music went you work, and if you do, what is generally on your playlist?

I don't have a particular artist or album that I constantly come back to, or a genre I stick to. I think the only rules are that I can leave it on for an entire album, and that it can work well in the background. I've come back to The Album Leaf and Elbow a lot.

11.  Because I chose to give you demos of the songs to listen to as you were creating the artwork for Death, do you feel that this helped the process, hindered the process, or neither?

I think it definitely helped the process. It helped me get an idea of the overall feel of the album, which provided a great starting place in trying to create artwork that complemented the music.

12. Do you have a favorite track on the record and if so, which one and why?

My favorite track is "Simple." It's poignantly straightforward, and I especially like it following the previous track, "Arrows Fly." "Arrows" seems to deal a lot with conflict and angst, and "Simple" answers with thoughts on love and dreams about things being better. They're both good songs, but there's a rest in "Simple" that fits there really well.

13. How did you come up with the design/concept for the cover?  What inspired the use of shapes and color?

From the beginning, I wanted to represent these collections of songs in an abstract way, and I thought that making a linocut of an abstract design would add some great texture and make this more interesting. It also helped knowing at the outset that there would be two albums, and that these would be titled with words that are near opposites. I planned the art for Death with a loose idea of what Rebirth would look like. I thought that Death would be well-suited by warm, sometimes abrasive colors and shapes with straight edges and sharp corners; these reference fire and destruction and give the piece a harsh feel. The artwork for Rebirth will have a similar approach but hopefully a completely different mood.

14. Because of the nature of this project, was it difficult to convey those emotions in a visual way?

Somewhat, but it wasn't too bad. I think it was a good challenge. Having pretty straightforward titles helped, as well as the opposing themes of the two albums; these made it easier to get to the core ideas of Death and Rebirth. Also, you gave me a lot of freedom in coming up with artwork, and I enjoyed trying to convey emotions and ideas in colors and shapes rather than recognizable imagery. Working with simpler elements made it simpler to come up with ideas.

15. Do you feel that the element of friendship has any bearing on a piece of work when you are creating something with or for a friend? In what ways?

I think it can. I have a much greater understanding of a friend than I do of a stranger, which helps me in trying to determine what a friend will like or what type of thing will fit that person. There's definitely still some guesswork and risk, which is good, but it's lessened when working for a friend. And I generally try to make the best work I can, but when something is for a friend, I feel an extra push to make it really good because I care about this person on a much deeper level.

16. Where can we see more of what you do?

I have work up at my website, which is www.jacobblaze.com. I'm not currently showing work anywhere, but I hope to be later this year.

17. What has been your favorite part of this collaboration?

It's hard to pick a favorite, as I've enjoyed so much of the process: coming up with ideas, listening to tracks from the EP, making the piece. I was thrilled that you even asked me to be a part of this project, and I remember being really excited with the initial ideas for this and that you were on board with them.

Alright now for a few random questions...

18. Favorite restaurant in Nashville?

If I have to choose one, I'll say Silly Goose in East Nashville. (I'd like to give a shout out to CREMA coffeehouse as well....because they're my favorite coffee shop, and I happen to be there right now.)

19. Gentlemen Broncos or Nacho Libre?

Despite some amazing moments in Gentlemen Broncos, I'm going with Nacho.

20. Darjeeling Limited or The Life Aquatic?

The Life Aquatic. Hands down. It's one of my favorites.

21. Elbow or Radiohead?

Both of these bands are amazing, but I have to say Elbow. They continually put out well-composed, stirring music, and their live show is a beautiful experience.

22. Favorite sushi roll?

I don't have a specific one, but Sam's Sushi in downtown Nashville is generally pretty great.

Thank you, Jacob, for marching with us!

Chipping Away

  In the process of recording Rebirth, I have never been more challenged by words and making sure those words are communicated correctly to create an overall feel for each song.  I don't normally go through eight plus versions of songs lyrically ever, but I feel like it is really a part of my growth as an artist and a writer this time.  

  There are a couple of songs right now that have me a little stumped.  One that I'm having to walk away from in order to wrap my head around it, maybe let go of my initial approach, and come back to it with a fresh perspective...after eight goes at it so far.  

  That is the nature of art I suppose; molding then chipping away.  Letting go of the original vision for it to be better than I ever imagined.

  In some ways, it may be a bad idea to hold so strongly to a concept like I feel I should with this project, but on the otherhand, it's the challenge that I'm finding so invigorating. I admit I'm getting tired, but in the middle of the fight I feel like I might be shedding my influences as a writer and my influences as an artist, so it is worth the effort.  I want the voice of Afterlife Parade to be the distinct voice of Afterlife Parade.  I don't know that we'll quite reach that goal with these two projects, but I think we are definitely setting it up for that.

  I can't believe that I get to be a part of this.  It feels like a present every day.

  Thank you for marching with us!

--Quinn

Process